Do those words (forgiveness & unforgivness) strike a nerve or make you uncomfortable?
Don’t worry, it’s natural & you’re not alone.
But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to be unforgiving.
Understand that forgiveness & unforgiveness are spirits. You can’t see them, but you can feel them & see their actions on your life and others.
Spirits can leave or enter your body; so be watchful & careful of what spirit you’re allowing in or out of you.
Forgiveness simply means letting go of any anger or bitterness (pain) towards someone’s wrong actions (attitudes, tone, etc.) towards you. Unforgiveness is simply the opposite (the act of holding anger and bitterness).
Sometimes, we hold unforgiveness at what someone else did wrong to others. Or, we can have unforgiveness towards ourselves. Is that you?
It Takes Time
Once you forgive, make sure you stay in forgiveness.
The process of forgiveness is not always easy, depending on the level of hurt caused by that person; but it’s not impossible.
While there are some people or things we can easily let go of, there are some others that takes longer to forgive and is ongoing.
The process depends on us and our will. Do you want to let go and move on?
If so, then Dr. Jesus will cure and perform an open-heart surgery on you. But you must give Him your will. He’ll show you how to let go and move on.
There’s so many ways to forgive. What works for someone might not work for you. God will show you.
Spend time with God in His Word & in prayer, then watch Him move on your heart.
Sometimes forgiveness might involve confrontation or not. God knows what you can handle and will not let something overtake you, if you leave it to Him to fix.
But if you don’t first seek Him in prayer & His Word, then you’ll mess up the forgiveness process or something can go wrong.
Without Jesus, you’ll fail every time & the situation will worsen.
It’s important to seek His perfect will in every situation in your life. ( Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t. He’ll guide you back if you let Him. We’re not going to always perfectly follow in His perfect will, but we’ll be more perfect than we were before).
How can you tell if you have unforgiveness in you or traces of it left in you?
You can tell when the remembrance of what happened brings anger or discomfort (bitterness, pain, fear, etc.) in your heart and spirit.
It’s not the remembrance part that’s a sign of unforgiveness, it’s the negative feelings or emotions you have because of remembering.
That’s why when you forgive; you should also forget too. You can’t do it successfully on your own, however. You need Christ Jesus’ help.
Forgiveness doesn’t always mean you have to put up with the person or keep doing business with them ( unless you’re married) or approve of their actions; because some people you can’t be around because they might cause you to stumble in your process.
As for relationships such as marriage or family, co-workers, or situations like these where you can’t just walk out right away or at all, might call for another resolution. These such people are those whom you have to do business with because of a commitment or contract.
Don’t worry, Dr. Jesus is the cure and will still provide a way, if you’re willing to let Him.
I’m no expert on marriage, but if you’re in constant abuse or being abused on the job or elsewhere, which makes forgiving nearly impossible for you to do, and if you can’t talk & work it out, then it’s best that you get away from them & forgive from a distance. Again, ALWAYS seek the LORD first before you act.
Forgiveness is Freedom
Example: Jesus gave several examples of forgiveness through parables. In Matthew 18: 21-35, it speaks about servants who were in debt to their Master (creditor). But the Master forgave (let go) and freed them of their debt.
When someone does you wrong, they're your debtors and you're the creditor. Release them!
You forgive them by freeing them of their debt (wrongs) to you. When you do that, you are free too.
Forgiveness frees you. It frees you from the negative feelings and hurt.
When you pay off your real debt to a real debt collector or creditor agency, do you continue to do business with them? NO! Once you paid, you're done with them. Both of you have moved on.
Let the person go and move on from them.
Sometimes when you can’t pay your real debt, it stays on file for a number of years & eventually (sometimes) it’s discharged or canceled in some instances. It may mess up your credit background, but at least it’s forgiven and canceled.
Those who wronged you may have bad credit (wrongs) history with you which prevents you from associating with them, but at least you’ve let them go.
When you let go, God lets go of your offenses (bad credit) towards Him.
We’re All in Debt
We’re all in an unpayable debt to God because of our sins. Yet we still owe Him.
The only settlement God will take is your repentance (turn from sins), forgiveness of others, and faith in Jesus Christ to clear your debt.
So if He will forgive you & show mercy, then we must do the same to others.
Forgiveness is Peace, Unforgiveness is Cancer
You’ll feel better & peace when you let go.
Unforgiveness can turn into a cancer or another horrible feeling or sickness.
Don’t wait for the person to apologize before you forgive them. Also, don’t wait to find the person to tell them you forgive them.
FORGIVENESS CAN’T WAIT. BEGIN TODAY.
Forgiveness starts in the heart.
Although hearing an apology is refreshing because we feel that it’s owed to us, you can’t take a risk like that.
Trick of the Devil
If you’re waiting for an apology, you won’t get it.
That’s a trick of the devil: to get you to wait and hold that unforgiveness in your heart until you die, so that you’ll end up in Hell.
Even worse, what if that person you’re angry with repents, gets saved, & goes to Heaven while you’re in Hell for having unforgiveness towards them? That’s messed up, huh?
UNFORGIVENESS LEADS TO HELL.
But it’s reality & many people are in Hell for that reason. Don’t let that be you, please.
Don’t let anyone or anything cause you to be separated from God for all eternity.
That person might not feel they owe you an apology, don’t care, forgotten you or what they did to you. Or, they may be dead or in prison or far away so that you can’t approach them.
You can’t wait! Let go today.
Do it for You
Forgive, forget, and move on for your sake.
Then, perhaps, if they’re alive, maybe they will apologize to you one day. But don’t bet on it or wait for them to do so.
To help me forgive others, I pray a blessing over them. This helps me to stay in forgiveness towards them. Whenever that unforgiving spirit tries to return, I go back to blessing that person until that spirit goes away.
God will show you how to let go. Call on His Son Jesus and He will answer & deliver you.
He’s faithful to His Word & will be faithful to you.
Check Out: Matthew 18:21-35